i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
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