I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
