dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
