wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You may now shotgun with the bride
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
