Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
