Define "chronic" masturbator.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
