She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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