okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
