Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize