dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
and i looked up. we had an audience...
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
