I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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