How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
