Im at strip club and am horny
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
