We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
