it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
