I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize