My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
