it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
