i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I am one with the molecules
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Randomize
