I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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