oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Randomize
