We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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