hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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