my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
