I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
