I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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