it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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