what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize