Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
