seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
