He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
