trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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