I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
