JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
