I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
