I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
