Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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