Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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