trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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