my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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