I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
