I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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