i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
