I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
