where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
OPIZZABONMYDICK
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Randomize
