Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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