did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
