So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
