is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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