A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Randomize