you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
