Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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