we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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