i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I currently don't understand fingers.
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