this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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