Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
