this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize