allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
