i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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