oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
