VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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