hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
