Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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