Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
