I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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