just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Come share oat with me in your robe
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
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