I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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