Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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