We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
two words...techno handjob
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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